Tuesday, February 12, 2008

My (ex) Addiction

I think I've only ever had one addiction in my life. It was running. I've kicked the addiction, but not the activity. I still run, but not nearly as much as I used to. I think triathlon training and school keep a check on it now.

In 2002, I ran about 1200 miles. I used to get irritable and/or have a hard time sleeping when I didn't run. There have been days when I told myself that I couldn't/shouldn't run, but found myself lacing up my shoes and heading out the door anyway. I hate the cold, but for some reason I'll endure it to go on a run outside (I'm talking about those cold days when the mercury dips below 60°F).

I used to treat running like an alcoholic treats alcohol. I run whenever I get bad news or if I'm having a bad/stressful day. I would love going to get a new pair of running shoes or running shorts just like a bum loves a small bottle of scotch or a tallboy.

Pam tells me that anorexics feel like even if they lose control over other aspects of their life, they can still control how much they eat. Maybe that's what it's like with running too...I can't control what assignments I get at school or what the weather brings or any sort of bad news that comes my way, but I can control how much I run. I personally don't think this is a huge concern. I'm not a control freak, although I do like to have certain aspects of my life in order. My CDs need to be alphabetized (then ordered chronologically if I have more than one by the same artist) and I really like to have my bed made if I don't plan on using it in the next couple hours, but I don't think that's a need for control on my part.

Overall, at least running is a fairly healthy activity that can be constructive. I don't think I'm currently addicted, although it still helps elevate my mood and promote a good night's sleep. Who knows, I might fall off the wagon and get re-addicted to running one day in the not-so-distant future.
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