Thursday, February 28, 2008

Birdman's Questionairre

I got the following email from J. It's one of those silly "get to know your friends" things. J put a good twist on it. I laughed so much, I felt I had to share it with those of you who read my blog!
Published without consent of the author.

:::begin email transmission:::

Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your
friends. Okay, Here's what you're supposed to do, and
try not to be lame and spoil the Fun! Copy this
entire email and paste into a new email that you can
Send; change all the answers so that they apply to
you. Then send this To a whole bunch of people you
know, INCLUDING the person that sent it To you. Some
of you may get this several times (that means you have
lots of friends).
***AIGHT SO I MADE THIS INTERESTING. I FILLED THIS OUT AS IF I WERE BIRDMAN***

1. What is your occupation? YOU SAYIN' YOU DON'T KNOW WHO BIRDMAN IS, BITCH? BITCH I'M SO GODDAMN GREAT I GAVE BIRTH TO MYSELF.
2. What color are your socks right now? RED, THE COLOR OF BLOOD NIG**!
3. What are you listening to right now? MYSELF.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? HATERS.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? DO THEY EVEN MAKE BEAMER'S IN STICK SHIFT, BITCH?
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? PLATINUM PIMPIN'. COMING SOON (ALONG WITH 99 OTHER STUNTASTIC COLORS, LIKE BALLA BLACK) IN THE CA$H MONEY CRAYON SET.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? YOLANDA, SHARON AND KEISHA. THEY'RE COMING OVER SO I CAN GET MY TRIPLE DIP ON.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS BITCH.
9. How old are you today? I'M ETERNAL, NIG**, LIKE GOD. MY AGE DON'T MATTER.
10. Favorite drink? THAT PURPLE STUFF
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? PLATINUM FIELD FOOTBALL.
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? HAIR, BITCH? I AIN'T GOT NO GODDAMN HAIR. AND THE BITCHES LOVE IT.
13. Pets? LIL WHEEZY GOT SOME RARE ASS BIRD ONCE FROM AFRICA OR SOMETHIN'. I COVERED THE BITCH IN PLATINUM SO IT COULD LIVE FOREVER, LIKE ME. BEST PART OF THAT IS THAT IT DON'T SAY SHIT ANYMORE, EITHER.
14. Favorite food? COURVOISIER COVERED PUSSY.
15. Last movie you watched? BANISHA'S BUTT-ASTIC ADVENTURES (XTRA ANAL) VOL. 6
16. Favorite Day of the year? EVERYDAY IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY WHEN YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY A SMALL COUNTRY 17 TIMES OVER, NIG**!
17. What do you do to vent anger? STUNT. TAKE POTSHOTS AT 50 CENT. REPEAT.
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? MY DICK. UNCLE TOM (THAT'S MY DICK'S NAME, NIG**, CAUSE EVERYONE BOWS IN FRONT OF HIM) START CHASING AFTER THOSE KITTENS AT AGE 6.
19. What is your favorite season? SUMMER. CAUSE THEN THE HATERS SEE ME AND THINK ITS WINTER CAUSE OF ALL THE ICE I GOT ON.
20. Hugs or kisses? UPPERCUTS AND SHOTS TO THE GUT.
21. Cherry or Blueberry? I DON'T CARE WHAT MY LUBE TASTE LIKE, ONLY BITCHES TASTE THAT SHIT.
22. Do you want your friends to email you back? FUCK THAT HOLLA AT ME.
23. Who is most likely to respond? WHO THE FUCK CARES BITCH.
24. Who is least likely to respond? MY LIL' COUSIN, STUNT MCGEE, CAUSE HE DEAD ALREADY.
26. When was the last time you cried? WHEN I GOT PUNK'D INTO THINKIN' THE IRS WAS REPO'ING MY MANSION. EVER WONDER WHY PUNK'D GOT CANCELLED?
27. What is on the floor of your closet? A 100LB BOX OF CONDOMS AND A LETTER FROM DUREX BEGGING ME TO BE THEY OFFICIAL SPONSOR.
28. The friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? ME AND BENJAMIN FRANKLIN BEEN TIGHT FOR 20 YEARS, NIG**!
29. Who is the friend you have had the shortest that you are sending this to? GEORGE WASHINGTON.
30. Favorite smells? I LOVE THE SMELL OF PUSSY IN THE MORNING.
31. Who inspires you? POL POT. THAT NIG** KILLED EVERYONE WHO HATED ON HIM.
32. What are you afraid of? BEING BROKE.
33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? DIAMOND PLATED HAMBURGERS BITCH.
34. Favorite car? YOU EVER SEEN THE VIDEO FOR #1 STUNNA?
35. Favorite cat breed? THE TIGHTER THE BETTER.
36. Number of keys on your key ring? ONE NIG** CAUSE MY GODDAMN HOUSE HAS AN IRIS SCANNER AT THE DOOR TO LET ME IN!
37. How many years at your current job? I'VE BEEN A GODDAMN #1 STUNNA SINCE I WAS BORN, NIG**
39. How many states have you lived in? I LIVE IN EVERY STATE, NIG**, CAUSE I GOT A MANSION IN EACH ONE.
40. Do you think you're funny? AIN'T SHIT FUNNY ABOUT GETTIN' MONEY. IT JUST FEELS REAL FUCKIN' GOOD.
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