Wow. I had my first altercation with someone in Tallahassee this weekend. It was with J & L, a couple who are engaged. You see, at my (luau themed) party this past weekend, I was wearing a grass skirt and no shirt. L gave me a titty twister. I told her that it is my policy to retaliate in kind in that situation, save for the first one (girls get a warning, guys don't). I don't know if she didn't believe me or what, but she did it again, so I grabbed a hold of her nipple-area and turned. You'd think that she might stop then, realizing that I was serious when I said I'd do it back. She didn't stop. Nor did I. During this time, I was holding a beer in one hand (or I could have maybe used that hand for defense), standing next to Ashley, while J was in another room.
The next morning around 8am, I got a phone call from J that went something like this: J:Do you remember what you did last night? Me: When? J: -refreshes my memory on the incident described above- Me: ya. J: That's unacceptable. I can't believe you would do something like that. I thought we were cool. I don't know what to say. Me: Apology along with explanation of my policy. J: I don't care about your policy, you just don't do something like that. Further expressions of anger and disappointment. After that phone call, I couldn't get back to sleep for about an hour, even though I was exhausted after being awake until 6:20 that night.
I would think that after being with J for 7 years, L would know that he would react like this and that she wouldn't have initiated a nipple grab, let alone kept going after I warned her that I do it back.
Monday after school, I went to J's office and L was in there too. I apologized in person. J told me to "keep my distance." I told him that I would honor his request until he told me otherwise.
I checked later on Monday and found that L had un-friended me on facebook. I think that's the first time I've noticed an un-friend.
Nipple-retaliation has ALWAYS been my policy, and I've NEVER had a problem with it before. It never crossed my mind that something this grave could be the result of minor horse-play. I guess I've never hung out with a bunch of engaged/married people before coming to grad school. It's something to consider.